It didn't take long

Something has become painfully obvious to me and it only took a few minutes to realize; I can't spell. Now I have known this for a long time. But as I try to express my thoughts, I find myself frustrated by this @#!%" computer that seems to think that nearly every word I type is wrong. My teachers had the same opinion.

In elementary school, Friday was the day for the spelling bee. All the students would stand at the front of the class in a line and the teacher would ask each student to spell a word. If you spelled it right, you stayed. If you spelled it wrong, you sat down.

There was generally a fight between those of us who were "lexiconically challenged" to see who would get the last spot in the line. At least this way we were saved the embarrassment of being the very first to sit down. Twenty-two sets of eyeballs staring at you while you sit alone in your seat can be very hard on your self-image.

I was generally safe during the first round. "Cat", "Dog" and "Spot" had been drilled into my head. But as each round became progressively harder, the rules of grammar came into play. I could never remember, is it "i before e except after c" or "Dick after Jane"? My little mind reeled from the confusion. How can anyone expect so much from a six year old?

Fortunately for me, even in those days, I had a "spell-checker". Her name was Margie. She and I shared the same interests, me. If I could just stand next to her, I was guaranteed at least the third round. She was better looking than anything Bill Gate has invented and I definitely enjoyed pushing her buttons. But inevitably a word would come and I would take my seat. I know that Mrs. Gardener had it out for me. She hated to see anyone happy, especially those of us who had a “spell-checker”.

Eventually Margie and I parted ways. The smart ones always seem to run in herds. So she and her herd moved on and left me to years of embarrassing first round defeats. Since that time Margie has been replaced by my computer. Its buttons will never be as nice as hers and it will never hold my hand as we walk to the bus, but it can spell “verbigerative”.